Times My Rantings Have Won An Internet

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1. 95% OF FACEBOOK RESPONSES FAIL BASIC MATH PROBLEM
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This one wrecked me. This honestly smacked my brain like freezing molten stupid and clung to every cell, caking it in confounded disbelief. I would have considered this as something Year 5 students would get as an average homework question. And yet, here were fully grown adults in 2012, following millions of years of evolutionary brain development and cognitive problem solving education, failing to get the correct answer in 90-95% of the responses posted.

As you can see in red, there were thousands of these responses, and I felt it was my duty after scrolling past dozens and dozens of completely disparate answers to provide a simple colour-coded representation of each 4x4, 3x3, 2x2 and 1x1 square visible in the image.

 

Of course, numerous people then responded with a guffaw at how 'orange rectangles aren't squares' and the dozens of incorrect answers continued flooding with little regard for the fact that every answer around them was different so double-checking may have been something to consider.

Consider my faith in humanity kicked whilst down, whipped off the racetrack and shot into a coffin.

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2. PEOPLE SALIVATING OVER 45 º PARKING HAVE POOR SPACIAL PLANNING
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The original image here was lauded by online citizens for the ease which it would bring public parking. Just stop for a second and think of how hard it is to find a park currently in the city with 90º spots. They are like that for a reason. Sure, there may be more time convenience in reversing out from a 45º spot, but the amount of time you'd spend circling a parking lot with a whopping 10% fewer spots available would not be worth it at all, costing the same to waste more space.

 



 

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3. CARBON TAX RANT PUTS NAYSAYERS IN THEIR PLACE
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To digress before I begin, back in high school I marched against Australian involvement in the US war against Iraq; not because Iraq wasn't due for an international intervention for Saddam Hussein's atrocious history, but because the reason given for this invasion was a fabricated crock of shit. If George W Bush had told the public *any other fucking obvious reason* I daresay I would have been in support of the move. However, an obviously exposed lie that was perpetually denied even when aired for all to see just lost all grounds of association in my mind.

Australia did not collapse into a pit of despair when John Howard introduced the GST... however, when one enters an election saying that if people will vote for you, you will not introduce a tax, and then you get elected, and you introduce that tax... that is a dick move. That is a lie. You should just flat out be fired for that shit. False advertising or whatnot. I am not opposed to the GST if you present a solid fiscal argument for it as one of your policies. I AM opposed to bringing it in after you've promised your voters you won't. There is a difference.

ANYWAY, the Labor government introducing a Carbon Tax is one such example. This was a postelection initiative that copped a lot of flak from the public and corporations alike. Look how much pollution India and China put out, they said, not really taking into account that as a nation of only 22 million, our pollution output per capita was the. highest. in. the. world. by. heaps.
But the *main* opposition to this policy? The same people who supported Bush's lie with complete lack of evidence were now claiming that climate change arguments were a lie, with vast stacks of evidence to the contrary.

Really, now? Just take this brief rant into consideration and reconsider if human impact on the environment is not going to be a thing now or in coming years without some government initiatives in place right bloody now to keep a check on this kind of thing.

 

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4. PWNING A POPULAR ONLINE GRAPH OF WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE LIQUIDS
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I had seen the original graph several times across various websites and social media, and thought "Well, what about perfume? Wouldn't that have a really high cent-to-ml ratio?"

A few seconds of Googling later and I found I had blasted the original graph off its tits and so didn't even bother investigating any further liquid substances for their prices, as I had already won an internet with such a shattering victory that it was sad to think humanity had disseminated the first image in the first place without a second thought.

 

 

 

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5. WORDS WITH FRIENDS HIGH SCORE IS UTTER BULLSHIT
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A friend initially posted this to me on Facebook, knowing that I like me some wordplay and anagrams and such. It was about 9pm when I looked at it and straight away smelled a rat, so spent the next 7 hours on an exponentially frustration-filled effort to debunk the image using irrefutable logical deduction, which ended in a rather sleep-deprived raging caps-lock-filled expletive response, as I had to get up for work at 6am that morning. Apologies, Henry. Apologies.
I tidied up the layout of my response after seeing the same image on 9gag today:

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6. DANIEL ASSANGE'S RATHER LAX ONLINE PRIVACY SETTINGS
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Remember back when Julian Assange was the silver-haired Kony of the mediascape, with a daily update on his outlandishly terroristic Wikileaks behaviour appearing in every tabloid?

The US military was red-faced over leaked footage of a civilian helicopter strike and numerous senators and groups were calling for Assange's execution due to thousands of private government cables from embassies all around the world being leaked to the general public online.

And then, there was his son, casually chilling on Facebook with a rather open profile setting at the time considering he was someone whose father had international agencies baying for blood.

 

 

I pointed out this fact on Twitter and within the day, Daniel Assange had tweeted back a response. After a few initially narky retorts back and forth, I shared my Barenaked Ladies "One Week" parody song which he liked and retweeted. I was coming more from an angle of bemusement at the fact that if any bounty hunter or extremist had wished to pose harm to Assange's family in retaliation for Wikileaks, even someone like me with zero knowledge of hacking information would be able to narrow down a small triangle of real estate to target his son due to lax online privacy settings.

(Daniel Assange closed his twitter and Facebook accounts shortly afterwards.)