Wednesday, December 26, 2012

NSW high school mottos

I believe a statewide audit of high school mottos is in order, so I have compiled a list of the top 30 high schools in New South Wales from 2012, to review what messages their mottos promote to our students.

#1. James Ruse Agricultural High School
"Gesta non verba" (Deeds not words)
James Ruse has topped HSC results for 18 consecutive years. Apparently, this has been achieved by students remaining mute and handing in blank essays accompanied by an interpretative dance to answer each question.

#2. North Sydney Boys High School
"Vincit qui se vincit" (He conquers who conquers himself)

#3. North Sydney Girls High School
"Ad Altiora" (Toward higher things)

#4. Sydney Girls High School
"Labor Omnia Vincit" (Work conquers all)
Does ‘conquers’ here also conquer boys who have conquered themselves? This whole conquering business is very confusing.

#5. Sydney Boys High School
Veritate et Virtute” (Truth and courage)
Says the place that spawned Rene Rivkin.

#6. Baulkham Hills High School
Uh, shouldn’t that be “Persevērāre”? Get your shit together, Baulko.

#7. Hornsby Girls’ High School
“Faith with Fortitude”
So far, the only school to properly incorporate a possessive apostrophe. Obviously, possession is a big part of the religious curriculum here.

 #8. Normanhurst Boys High School
“Know Thyself”
Every exam paper: Name? FULL MARKS!

#9. Fort Street High School
“Faber est suae quisque fortunae”(Every man is the maker of his own fortune)
And every woman is the maker of her husband’s sandwich? Nice choice of motto for your co-educational school there, fellas.

#10. Girraween High School
“Mens conscia recti”(Mind aware of right)
Says the school whose uniform is literally Fifty Shades of Grey.

#11. St George Girls High School
“Dieu et Droit” (God and Right)
Ooh, I like the French angle. (I also like how you differentiate the two.) Most of all, I like how your logo is a fucking ACADEMIC ATOP A NOBLE STEED, SLAYING A DRAGON WITH A SWORD.

#12. Northern Beaches Secondary College
“By effort, we achieve”
Come on, you couldn’t have put a little effort into your motto? Is 'by effort' even grammatically sound? Surely 'With effort' is the proper... wait, why is your school logo saying one motto and yet your official school motto is something completely diff- LOOK, JUST GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, BAULKO!!!

#13. Hurlstone Agricultural High School
“Pro Patria” (For our country)
With a 112 hectare campus, you certainly have a lot of country there to be all for...

#14. Sydney Technical High School
“Manners Makyth Man”
Damn; you know a motto is old when it uses an obsolete spelling of an already archaic word.

#15. Caringbah High School
Omnia Vincit Diligentia” (Diligence Conquers All)
Well, shit, guys. Is it work or diligence that conquers all now? Too many mixed messages about conquering... are we educating despots here or something?

#16. Penrith High School
Altiora Peto” (I am Striving for my Highest)
Wannabe potheads.

#17. Conservatorium High School
“Fiat Lux”(Let there be light)
I thought Harry Potter taught us this was “Lumos!” in Latin… is this a Genesis homage? Or are these stage directions for your annual musical showcases?

#18. Sefton High School
“Sincerity, Scholarship, Service”
Some seriously superfluous sibilance, Sefton.

#19. Killara High School
Conserva Progredere” (The preservation of the best of the past and continued development into the future)
*looks at Latin… looks at English translation… looks back to Latin… looks at English translation*

 #20. Chatswood High School
Per Gravia Ad Prospera”(Through Hard Work We Prosper)
For the first forty years of establishment, this had been incorrectly translated, making for a rather limited, yet culinarily successful, gravy-related curriculum.

 #21. Cheltenham Girls High School
“Truth, Unity, Concord”
You know they work the whole ‘unity’ and ‘concord’ angle by getting the top 12 spots in the state for HSC Aboriginal Studies in 2011, naming all their school houses after Aboriginal words… and not having a single Aboriginal student in the entire school.

 #22. Willoughby Girls High School
“Courage, Loyalty, Truth”
I think Simba attended Willoughby Girls High School.

#23. Macquarie Fields High School
“Loyalty, Sincerity and Generosity”
Okay, these three noun mottos are getting a little boring now.

#24. Ryde Secondary College
“Leadership, Respect, Co-operation and Responsibility”
Woah, a FOUR noun motto? HEL-LO!

#25. Cherrybrook Technology High
“Achieving Together”

#26. Carlingford High School
“Adventure In Learning”
Your school houses are named after Vikings and have a Viking warship as your school crest? Might be taking that motto a bit too far there...

#27. Turramurra High School
“Obedience to Conscience”
Many students misread this as ‘con science’, making Turramurra one of the leading producers of climate sceptics in Australia.

 #28. Tempe High School
“Laborer Fortiter”(Work hard)
Lol, they don’t even promise any prospering or conquering from it. Inspiring.

#29. Epping Boys High School
“Strive to Achieve”
(*This esoteric injoke is solely funny to The Armidale School cadet corps circa 1999-2004.)

#30. St Ives High School
Optima Optime” (The best possible things in the best possible way)
Pretty sweet motto for a school that bases its entire math course on 7 times tables...
(This nursery rhyme joke is solely funny to Nib.)


Anonymous said...

North Sydney Boys High School has the same motto as my shitty ex-high school, Wagga Wagga High School.

Which went through a wanky period of being called Wagga Wagga Technology High School, back in the early 90's when the height of technology was apparently 12 Macs and a couple of Amiga 1000's...

Dark Live and Sweaty said...

Very funny, can I incorporate them into my eBay listings of school badges? Anyway, I'd like to see a wider audit. Please strive to achieve, in doing so displaying per adua et astral and service not self. Carpe diem because vita brevis.

Dark Live and Sweaty said...

Very funny, can I incorporate them into my eBay listings of school badges? Anyway, I'd like to see a wider audit. Please strive to achieve, in doing so displaying per adua et astral and service not self. Carpe diem because vita brevis.