Friday, January 30, 2015

Anastasia ("Anaconda" Nicki Minaj 50 Shades of Grey parody)

ANASTASIA
(to the tune of "Anaconda" by Nicki Minaj)
 
 My Anastasia don't... my Anastasia don't...
My Anastasia don't want none unless you cause harm, son

Hey bae named Grey, lives in Washington State
Bought rope from a Bunnings with a carton of tape 
Got my booty red and raw, gonna give it a callous
Spite and malice, making me scream
With his beatings and violence
How I squeal, squeal, squeal
You know I’ll squirt, check the stains on this Steele
Who wanna get hurt? I got him dusting off his drill
A Tylenol will be my morning after pill
I’ll be your drumkit
 
Christian Grey, wanna flay
Gonna swell as he whipping my weals
Thumbs, I have stuck ‘em under both of his heels
Laying on a Catherine Wheel
Watch my dripping blood congeal
He keep ‘nailing’ me for real
Hit with an electric eel
‘cause he love when I’m groaning
He want something he can stab
Then he’ll pull off every scab
Muffled by my rubber gag like
“Mmph-hrmmph-hmm-rrmph-hrmmph-mmph!”
 
My Anastasia don't... my Anastasia don't...
My Anastasia don't want none unless you cause harm, son
 
Bowline knots… look at her cut
Those iron rods … look at her clot
Snow white bod… look at her smut
Look at that slut (Struck on her butt)
 
This dude’s a psycho with his Dominance bible
Such rigour in his power, it’s so ‘suite’ when he’s ‘bridle’
Black vinyl and zippers, verging on homicidal
When he says he’d ‘tap’ that deep, he be talking ‘bout ‘spinal’
Then it’s clang clang clang
I let him hit it as I hang from chains
He dropping acid on my ankle sprains
I love the pain and ache from muscular strains
Plucking my armpits
 
Fifty Shades, E. L. James
Gonna swell as he whipping my weals
Thumbs, I have stuck ‘em under both of his heels
Laying on a Catherine Wheel
Watch my dripping blood congeal
He keep ‘nailing’ me for real
God, I love the taste of steel
And he love when I’m moaning
Now he got a paddle bat
Soon I’ll need a bodybag
My autopsy on the slab like
“More more more more more more!”
 
My Anastasia don't... my Anastasia don't...
My Anastasia don't want none unless you cause harm, son
 
Bowline knots… look at her cut
Those iron rods … look at her clot
Snow white bod… look at her smut
Look at that slut (Struck on her butt)
 
Crippling my nipples and a hot whipcrack
Dribbling my spittle as you talk that smack
Whip me in the hip until my butt’s crosshatched
No light stuff… hook in my gut
 
My Anastasia don't... my Anastasia don't...
My Anastasia don't want none unless you cause harm, son
My Anastasia don't... my Anastasia don't...
Don't want none unless you cause harm, son

Bowline knots… look at her cut
Those iron rods … look at her clot
Snow white bod… look at her smut
Look at that slut (Struck on her butt)
 
Uh, he love my black straps
Uh-uh-uh-uh
Yeah, this one is for my missies who got that knack to be stuck as Sub
I said, “Where my sadist Sub-missives getting clubbed?”
I’ll need twenty stitches, getting hit by switches in the butt
I wanna see all the sick-sad-men-with-riches-and-a-mother-complex sob
Stuff you if you don’t get vicious
Hit me!
Yeah, my safe word’s “Hit me more!”
Come on!

*whip crack*

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