Tuesday, January 19, 2016


In a move that has become all-too-familiar for athletics fans, the 2016 Olympic Games recently unveiled its selection for the 100m sprinting finals in both the men's and women's divisions, comprised entirely of black athletes.


The selection committee faced immediate backlash from members of the athletic community, for its continued exclusion of pale, pasty, light-skinned, pallid, chalky, or otherwise white competitors.
"Enough is enough. You really have to begin to wonder after a while," stated one anonymous track commentator, whose years of experience in the booth at international athletics events around the world has seen countless sprinters of African descent proliferating throughout sprinting finals.
"Running is an objectively measurable skill of human physicality practiced the world over. How is it then that you only ever see black faces at the starting blocks and taking the podium, year after year?"

Indeed, it has been notable over the past decade of international sprinting competitions that a disproportionate number of black sprinters regularly take the top spots. Such disregard for the appearance of Hispanic/Latino, Antipodean, South-East Asian, Central Asian, North-West Asian, Middle Eastern, South-South-East Middle Eastern and European athletes has been described as 'discriminatory', 'racist' and 'inevitably comparable to something Nazi'.

"Repeatedly broadcasting the same black figures to televisions around the globe at every Olympics is detrimental to minority groups and aspiring sprinters the world over," commented Gary Norman, son of historic white sprinter Peter Norman who became internationally renowned for standing quietly to the side as a Black Power salute was performed atop the podium at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City.
"Diversity and difference should be celebrated on an international platform such as the 100m sprinting final, not blackwashed with the same dark tones every time." Norman added.
"Nobody seriously tunes in to watch any other event, yeah? And it's like a goddamn Nutella spill down there on the track every time, am I right?"

Whilst Olympic officials have yet to comment on the public backlash, one representative was heard to let slip at a recent press conference in Brazil a mention of 'fucking genetics you morons' before his microphone was abruptly cut off and he was ushered quickly off stage.

Are the Olympics sprinting finals too black?
We'll leave the following images with you for you to decide for yourself.

C-c-c-combo breaker!

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